WHAT WE CAN CONTROL AND WHAT WE CANNOT CONTROL

Sometimes when things get intense in my mixed faith marriage it is helpful to remember what it is I can control and what it is I cannot control.

I cannot control what he thinks about me or my choices. I cannot control how he feel about me. I cannot control what he says or does.

I really, really really want to control what he thinks about me. I want him to think I am good, kind, generous and a wonderful partner.

When I want him to think this about me I try to convince him to like me.

When I start convincing and controlling it doesn’t actually help my relationship. It makes me act a little crazy.

Often we don’t even see where were are “controlling” . If you find yourself thinking the following, there is a pretty good chance you are trying to control what you cannot:

If he would just…

I wish that he wouldn’t….

Why can’t she…

She just can’t seem to…

What I can control:

I can control me. I can control the meaning I give to words and actions of others. I can control the words that I speak. I can control my own actions. I can control how I choose to show up and what I chose to think and feel or at least what I choose to continue to think and feel.

This helps me know where to focus my attention and energy. When I get all caught up about the things I cannot control I feel stuck and disempowered. When I can keep my focus on what I can control I feel hopeful and wiling to keep trying.

Where is your focus in your mixed faith marriage?

We often need help re-training our brain to focus on what we can and let go of trying to control what we cannot. It sounds simple, but we usually need help. As a life coach I teach my clients how to do this. I help them create new neural pathways that create empowerment and not control.

If you are ready to learn how to do this, let’s talk.

CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE A FREE CALL WITH BROOKE

Talk to you soon,

Brooke Booth, JD
Certified Life Coach
mormoncouples.com
mormoncouples.com@gmail.com