Have you found yourself thinking these thoughts about your faith transition or your spouse’s faith transition (and marriage transition)?
I can’t believe this is happening to me.
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
This isn’t fair.
This is because of _______________ (something external that happened)
This is wrong.
I hate this.
I wish this never happened.
I wish we could go back to how we were before.
These types of thoughts are a sign of denial or what I like to refer to as resisting reality.
Bryon Katie teaches that when we we fight reality we loose – 100% of the time.
Dr. Tsbary has said, “Release attachment to how things “ought” to be and surrender to how they actually are.”
When we are resisting reality we cannot find solutions; we cannot move forward; we are stuck in thought loops and stuck in pain.
I often suggest to my clients that they would benefit from the emotion of acceptance (another way saying not resisting what is happening in their life). There is usually much to accept. Acceptance of faith changes. Acceptance of marriage changes. Acceptance of being married to someone who changes. Acceptance of human development. Acceptance of the dynamic nature of life an relationships.
What are you not accepting in your self, and in you spouse?
Make a list. Write the reason why. Can you let those go?
These reasons are holding you back from having a better marriage.
They are holding you back from your own happiness and contentment.
Need help with this? Not really sure how to surrender and how to accept and how to be ok when it is not ok.
Let’s talk. Let’s set up a time for a free call to talk about your mixed faith marriage.