I have covered so far:
#1- basic parenting resources – fully vetted
#2- How to deal with a spouse teaching things you don’t agree with
#3 – What do to with the kids when one goes to church and one does not
Today – Parenting Worries
I see two common worries in MFM couples for the non believing spouse. I have seen both worries in the same parent. I have also had both of these worries myself.
I recognize believing spouse has worries too. I will address those in another post.
Here they are
Worry #1 – How to keep kids safe without the church ?
I have heard this described in a few ways:
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The only reason I didn’t go off deep end was because of the teaching of the church
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The law of chastity protected me and gave the the motivation to make hard decisions
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How to teach values with out the church?
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How can they withstand peer pressure with out the church
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How do my kids have socialization/friends without the church?
Worry #2 – I don’t want my kids in because I was harmed by the shame and the teachings.
This may sound like:
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I don’t want them to be exposed to the shame I felt
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I don’t want them to to grow up thinking they are wrong or not worthy
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I don’t want them to be try to be someone they are not
These worries can drive you batty. I know they drove me batty.
AND you can have them both at the same time. It kind of feels like you have two engines pulling you in opposite directions.
Worry is what I consider to be a indulgent emotion. Said another way, it is a complete waste of time. Worry pretends to feel important. Worry pretends to be love. Worry pretends to necessary. It is not.
Worry creates more worry. Worry creates distraction. Worry wastes our time and energy that we could be directing towards actually loving our kids or our spouse and building strong relationships. Worry helps no one – EVER.
When worry comes knocking I try to recognize it and let it go. I try to see it for what it is – something that does not help me show up as the parent or spouse I actually want to be.
Do you need help managing your worries around your Mixed faith marriage and how to parent you kids? You need a coach. Reach out to me and get one of my few free calls I offer.