I am sure there are tons of worries out there. Here I will highlight two I have seen personally and professionally.
Worry One: They will take the easy route. The kids won’t go to church because its easier to stay home.
Worry two: I can’t share openly what I believe with my kids anymore without censure from my spouse.
NOTE: These are worries and what I taught last week in the post about common worries for transitioning spouses applies equally here. Also, what I address here applies to worries for transitioning/non believing spouses too.
When faced with a worry – what ever form it may take, I like to pause and ask myself a question. Its this true? Sometimes we believe everything our brains tells us without question.
This is something like handing a pair of scissors to a toddler and assuming they will be safe and not run.
Worries are essentially our brain running amok. Just like the toddler they need a little management or everything gets crazy.
This is why I ask – Is this true? or What else can be true here?
For example, if the worry is that the kids will take the easy road (and not go to church) is that true?
Is is easier for the kids to stop attending?
Was it easy for your spouse?
Is not attending really the ‘easy route’?
What is the easiest thing for them here?
Why do I want my kids to not have an easy life?
Why is easy a problem?
There is no right or wrong answer here. This is just an exploration to better understand yourself and what is going on.
Let’s look at worry #2 with a similar lens.
What will really happen if you share your beliefs?
Is it really true that you can’t share your beliefs?
Are you choosing not to so you don’t have to have a conversation or a confrontation?
Have you asked your spouse? Is this an assumption?
Is there a way you can share your beliefs that works for the two of you?
These types of questions help us to get unstuck. They help us see where we are sometimes getting in our own way. They help us find a little wiggle room so we can start finding solutions.
Do you need help finding some wiggle room in your mixed faith marriage? Getting tired or watering down your parenting because of your mixed faith marriage? Sounds like you might need a coach. Lets talk. Reach out for free call.
Brooke Booth, JD
Certified Life Coach