Decision Making

Two things are commonly agreed to challenge a marriage: mixed faith and remodeling. We are doing both.

Get clear on what your preferences are. So often we go into a decision making process with our spouse having NO IDEA what we want. We are stumbling around and then its should be no surprise that we struggle with the decision making process. Other times we do not have our back about our preference. We think it is selfish or wrong and again it should be no surprise that the whole process becomes painful.

Identify the emotion driving your choice. This one is KEY. If you decide to keep attending church because you are afraid of what the ward members will say you are making the decision based on fear. Do you like this reason? If you decide to keep attending church because you find value in the community and enjoy those interactions you may be making this decision based on connection. Do you like this reason? When we can see the emotion driving our choice the best decision often becomes clear.

Be willing to understand your spouse. I used to come into decision making process like a boxing match. I was defensive and would have an agenda. Listening to my spouse and his viewpoint was not on my agenda. Convincing him of my viewpoint was often the focus. Showing up willing to understand opens up the door to being understood in return.