Change can be disorienting for both spouses. Here I want to talk about how to handle change whether you are the one changing or the one watching the change.
Humans love and hate change . Mostly we hate it. It can be exciting, but our brains like things to stay the same.
Our brains are wired to be efficient. Efficiency is best met when there are no changes, and the brain can rinse and repeat our many thoughts. It is work for our brains to process change. It is work to figure out how to deal with Sundays, tithing, garments, etc. It is work to figure out how to talk to each other when one spouse no longer believes. It is work to figure out how to teach kids, plan weekends and deal with religious holidays. It is work because our brains have never done it before.
It is work but it is not impossible. It may not even be hard, it is just new and our brains have to create new neural pathways to figure things out and create new patterns of thought.
A few suggestions for dealing with change.
Let it be a bit uncomfortable. This is new. You are not familiar with everything yet. Its ok to be uncomfortable. Its ok to be a beginner.
Know you can always change you mind. Sometimes we have to try on a few ideas before we find one that fits. It is ok to take time and try on many ideas and many new things. Sometimes we just stick to the familiar even if we don’t really like it because we just don’t want to deal with being wrong or uncomfortable. Be ok being wrong or uncomfortable. Really!
Change is gong to happen whether you want it to or not. It is just part of the human experience. You can fight it or you can allow it. It can help so much to know that we are just stretching our brains a little and that nothing has actually gone wrong.
Be gentle with yourself and just keeping moving through the change. I think the human superpower is to be able to handle change with confidence and grace.
This can be your superpower. You can handle change with confidence and grace.
If you are ready to learn how to embrace the change in your marriage with confidence and grace but don’t really know how – you need a coach.
Coaching can help you process your emotions around the mixed faith marriage, make decisions and accept what is happening.