Are you someone who freezes when faced with change in your marriage. Often the response to change is – this can’t be good/right.
There is a (not uncommon) belief that we have to keep doing things the same way as before (as our parents or as we did for the first 10 years of our marriage).
AND We also believe in progression and the human development.
This presents cognitive dissonance.
Many agree that change is inherent in progression.
Many will also accept change if it is the right kind of change.
Here I want to talk about how to embrace change even if it doesn’t look like we think it should, even if it isn’t the ‘right kind’ of change.
1. It can be helpful to recognize that change is NORMAL. No-one stays the same. Just because we don’t like this particular change (or our spouse does not like it) that doesn’t necessarily make it wrong.
2. Recognize that we can handle change. We all have human bodies that are created to handle human emotion and the human experience. It takes a lot (I mean a lot) to really throw them off their game.
3. Recognize that we don’t see the whole picture yet. We don’t know the full repercussions. We don’t even know if we will like it or not. We are so quick to judge what is good and bad – but without really knowing the full impact. We are afraid that if we don’t act now it might be too late. This is fear thinking and fear acting. You can always decide again once you have more information.
Dealing with change especially the change associated with a mixed faith marriage is a skill. You can delve the skill. This is what I teach my clients .