The other day a YW leader came by to drop something off my my kids (as all YW leaders will do). We had a short but pleasant conversation and she left. Later that day I got a text from her.
She couldn’t get out of her head how I talked about my husband. She said it was one of the nicest compliments she had ever heard a wife pay a husband.
I just said he is smart. That’s it.
I was secretly thrilled she noticed for two reasons. (1) I said it without even realizing I had said it, it was just the flow of the conversation, and (2) that is a thought I practiced A LOT in the past few years. I had been actively trying to think better about my husband.
It takes practice to be who we want to be in our marriages. it doesn’t just happen. It takes practice to stay in love with our spouse in a mixed faith marriage.
We think we will just naturally love and gush over our spouse – always. But they are human and imperfect and they give us lots of reasons to not feel so gushy.
Throw in a mixed faith marriage and compliments do not just flow forth.
I decided to believe my husband was fantastic, smart, and handsome. I chose on purpose. I didn’t wait to be inspired to feel that way or for him to prove to me is fantastic, smart and handsome. I started to tell myself he is. I started to find evidence for it.
It took time. At first it was not my automatic thought. It was a bit strained. My shifts due to the faith transition sometimes made it challenging to see his smarts and fantastic-ness. But I was committed to the idea that he was fantastic and smart and handsome.
Over time. It became my default thinking. It became a belief. It became my truth.
When she stopped by my house and we had a 3 minute chat. That was what naturally came up and out my mouth . No effort. Only because I had invested a lot of effort.
Do you want an effortless marriage where you feel your spouse is fantastic, smart and handsome? You can have it. You create it. It won’t happen on its own. But it can happen. It takes some effort and then it became effortless.
Let me help you. I help people in a mixed faith marriage deal with the relationship shift from a faith transition. Is this you? Let’s talk. I offer a free no obligation call to discuss your marriage. Reach out and schedule. Just Private message me and set up a time. Go to my webpage and you will see a large button to schedule a call there.