Communication Tip

I want to give you a little tip on communication.

One way to improve communication is to remove the obstacles to effective  communication.

I want to highlight one obstacle here:

I have seen mixed faith marriages where the partners see each other as morally deficient due to faith differences. What I mean by this is that you think the other person is WRONG in their faith choice and therefore not as righteous, worthy, smart, aware or educated. You may think things like:

-How could they believe that?

-They broke their promise.

-How could they support that?

-How could they choose that?

This type of thinking can be poison to a relationship. It can cause partners to show up with contempt  or derision. That never feels good to anyone. It also can completely ruin any attempt at communication.

I want to suggest that before engaging in a conversation about religion in your mixed faith marriage you clean this up. Otherwise, it is going to come across in your conversation and cause PROBLEMS. Trust me on this one.

If you want to engage in a conversation try this instead:

  1. Decide what you want the outcome to look like.Maybe your intention is to be loving and supportive. Maybe it is to not try to change their mind but to seek understanding. Maybe it is to build connection.

We rarely enter a conversation hoping it ends up in a fight and disconnection, but we often end up there, so decide ahead of time where you want to go in this conversation.

2. Ask more questions.

A great approach to a conversation is to ask your partner – Help me understand _______. Tell me more about _____.

Try this out and see what happens in place of, “How can you believe that!?”

If your intention is to change their mind, expect push back.

Goals you may want to consider may be : (1) not to convince or be convinced, (2) not to judge someone as right or wrong (2) to understand, (3) to build connection, or (4) show up supportive and loving.

Need more help with this? Grab on of my free consults and let’s take some time to talk about your mixed faith marriage/faith transition and see if coaching is a good fit for you.


Talk to you soon,

Brooke Booth, JD
Certified Life Coach