I was pretty sure he hated me and I was not happy with me or this marriage. Almost positive it had to do with his upset over being in a MFM.
I eventually decided to be brave. I opened a conversation and asked to talk . It went poorly. We were both defensive. We were both short. We were both frustrated. I would walk away and turn away. I kept turning back towards him (physically and symbolically). I asked more questions. I leaned in. I listened. I decided to not be deterred.
It turns out he was frustrated about the house. (It is a huge project.)
All week I was taking his frustration personally. Then I was frustrated too.
It wasn’t about me. I had been telling myself a lie all week.
Here is the part that gets me every time. I had to really walk into discomfort to get to connection. So often this is the case. I had to be willing to lean in, ask questions, keep turning back around, listen and let go of my defensiveness.
Often times the conversions that are the most uncomfortable end in the best place.
It is a skill set to lean in, keep asking and to turn back over and over and over. You can develop this skill. You can change your relationship patterns. Let’s talk. Schedule a free consultation to see if coaching is what you need to strengthen your marriage.