There was a time when we were so busy strengthening our family we forget to strengthen our marriage. The two are not always synonymous.
When my faith transition hit, we had been married for around 15 years. We had been very active in church and very active building our family (FHE, trips, activities, etc).
We had not been so diligent about building our marriage. If you looked at how we spent our time and money it would be at the bottom or pretty close.
Maybe you are super busy and focused on school, career, kids church callings and haven’t spent the time and energy on your marriage.
This was 100% true for me and my spouse.
How to really start nurturing your marriage? How to build a marriage along with a family?
The patterns of neglecting your marriage can be hard to change You or your spouse may question or think –
Is this for real? Is this just temporary? This won’t last? You just want something from me.
3 tips to consider when you want to start nurturing your marriage
Be ok if they don’t believe you. Of course they are skeptical – you probably are too. Let them get familiar with the new way you are choosing so show up in your marriage. We sometimes resist change even if its good and we’ve wanted it for a long time.
Remember the 5:1 ratio. For every negative interaction you try to have 5 positive ones. Maybe right now your ratio is 1:5. You can change your ratio. The process means you fail A LOT until you succeed and that is OK. Failure is part of any worthy success story.
Know your WHY. If you don’t remind yourself of your WHY you will give up at after some push back. What is your WHY? – Because you really love your spouse – because you want to change things, because you are 100% committed to this? You get to decide. Keep reminding yourself.