No Such Thing as a Perfect Marriage

My husband is like my favorite person in the whole world – I mean that is why I married him. He is also sometimes super annoying (like any one else). 

Sometimes I want to kiss his face and love on him and sometimes I want a little space. 

Sometimes I want to follow him around everywhere and just admire him and sometimes I ask him to take shower cause he smells. 

I like to tell myself this is a normal marriage. All marriages are a mix of wonderful and not so wonderful. ALL OF THEM. Half the time things are great. Half the time things are smelly. 

What trips up so many, especially in a mormon mixed faith marriage, is you expect your marriage be great 100% of the time. This is not only silly but harmful. When we expect happiness all the time, we are setting an impossible standard. 

When a faith transition comes along we think there is a HUGE PROBLEM.  The differences in faith can cause a couple to  hyper focus on the differences and ignore the good stuff. All of the sudden we can only see the bumps and aggravations. 

When we expect things to not always be perfect we are disappointed less. I am not saying settle, I am saying don’t let the bumps throw you off. When I expect smelly armpits and grumpy days, I am so much more gentle and flexible when they do come around. I know nothing has gone wrong. I simply happen to be a human in a marriage with another human.

This idea of a 50/50 marriage has been a gift of grace for me and our marriage. 

Perfectionism can cause erosion to a marriage.  

What do you make it mean when your marriage is off for a few days or months? What do you make it mean if you want a little space? What do you make it mean if things are bumpy? What do you make a faith transition mean for your marriage? 

There will be challenges in your marriage. What do you make the challenges mean about you and your marriage?

Do you need help with your mixed faith marriage? Are you only seeing the problems? Coaching can help.