Are you annoyed and frustrated with your relationship? Does it feel like you move from one challenging issue to another? Do you wonder why is it so hard?
Take a minute and reflect on all the questions you are asking yourself about your relationship, your marriage, your spouse and the faith transition. Are you asking good questions? What I mean by good questions are questions that give you good answers, questions that help you feel good, questions that actually help your relationship THRIVE.
Do you frequently ask these types of questions?
-Why do we keep fighting?
-Why does she/he push my buttons?
-Why doesn’t she/he believe?
-Why does she/he still believe?
-Why do they ask these questions?
-Why is this so hard?
-Why does she/he always do …
-Why does she/he always say…
-Why don’t they love me
-Why doesn’t she/he respect me?
-Why is she/he always late?
-Why is she/he such a jerk?
-Why is she so unhappy?
-Why is she/he always complaining?
Your brain is going to find the answers to those questions and is going to find lots of support and evidence. But this is not helpful. It is not fun. Your brain is a machine, when you ask it questions like this it is almost like asking a child if they want to eat skittles for dinner and then getting frustrated when they eat skittles for dinner.
Your brain can serve you if you simply ask it better questions. Here are some alternative questions:
-Why do I love him/her so much?
-Why was I so luck to marry her/him
-Why are we so happy
-Why is he/she so supportive?
-What is working well here?
-How is this transition helping our marriage?
-How will this be better for us in the long run?
-Why does he/she love me so much?
-How does he/she know just the right things to say?
-Why is he/she so amazing?
-How can we make this relationship even better?
Your brain will now find answers to these questions. Better questions equal better answers. These answers will be new thoughts for you, that lead to better emotions, better actions and better results in your marriage.
Do you want more help asking better questions? Coaching can help you develop me habits that can support your marriage. Fill out the form below today to hop on a free call to discuss how coaching can help you and your marriage.
Talk to you soon,