A Mormon faith transition means you are different than you used to be. You are thinking and acting differently. The people around you have maybe commented that you are different.
It prompts questions such as:
- Who am I?
- Do I like this new version of me?
- Will others like the new version of me?
- Is it worth it?
We often fight or resist change because we are afraid that others will reject us.
Maybe you think:
One of the reasons my husband married me was because I was an active, believing Mormon girl. I was 100% committed and on board.
Now that I am no longer that person maybe this means he doesn’t want to be married to me anymore?
I have noticed that sometimes when we are afraid of rejection we reject the other person first to save ourselves the pain of being rejected by them. This can look like finding small (and large) grievances about the person. (He doesn’t understand me, he doesn’t support me, etc).
This is a typical coping mechanism. The problem is that it often works contrary to the actual results we want on our relationship.
One of the things I want in my relationship is connection. However, when I am afraid of rejection and now looking for any grievance I can. This means that I am certainly NOT going to experience connection. I am undermining myself without even realizing it.
Going through a transition can be exciting but also super scary as we renegotiate some aspects of our relationship. It can be very helpful to see exactly what are the results of our thoughts, feelings and actions. Often we just react with out fully realizing the implications.
A coach can be instrumental in helping you see where you proverbially shooting yourself in the foot. I help my clients see where they are getting in their own way to having a great marriage even in a faith transition.
Email me if you want to hop on a free 60 minute call and see how coaching can help you get out of your own way to enjoying connection in your relationship. Just ask for a free call and we will set up a time the works for you.
Talk to you soon,