Three Things to Tell your Spouse who is going through a Mormon Faith Transition


-By Brooke

1. “I am here to just listen, without judgement, if you need that and if you feel safe.”

Your spouse is processing a lot right now and has many new ideas and thoughts. Someone who will listen without judgement and without fear is perhaps the most helpful role anyone can fill for your spouse right now. You may not be able to hold this space for your spouse or they may not yet feel safe speaking with you and that’s okay. However, they will find someone who will and that will be an important relationship for your spouse, you can at the very least acknowledge the importance of the role that person holds for your souse. 

2. “I will love you no matter what you decide.”

Your spouse knows the implications of their faith transition. They know this is making you very uncomfortable. They are not doing this just to perversely annoy you, but are sincerely seeking to live their best life. They are probably terribly afraid of your reaction. They know the stigma involved with “less active” or “inactive” members. Most members who experience a faith transition were those who were more strident observers of the faith before. A simple affirmation of your love and support will mean so much as the ground is literally shifting under their feet.

3. “I respect you.” 

Your spouse is perhaps making choices that are freaking you out. Everything you have ever worked for may seem to crumbling. Take a deep breath and consider that your spouse is being thoughtful and trying to do what they feel is best. You may not agree, and that is not necessary to respect them. Can you respect that they are sincere and that they are seeking? You may not think they are sincere about the right thing or seeking the right answers, but that does not make them less sincere in their seeking. 


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