86. How to Fight

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Fighting can be a huge problem in a mixed faith marriage and it can be an excuse to avoid talking about ...

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85. Relationship Bill of Rights

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A relationship bill of rights can be a tool you use to strengthen your mixed faith marriage and open the door ...

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84. Why I Hate Motherhood and Its Impact on My Marriage

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This may not be an easy episode for some of you. However I hear regularly about women who struggle being mothers ...

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83. Tools for your mixed faith marriage

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Here I share about my newly revised free mini course. It’s been expanded and improved in so many ways. The mini ...

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82. I Didn’t Sign Up For This

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I didn’t sign up for this is a common response to a mixed faith marriage. In this podcast I give a ...

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81. Discrimination

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Religious discrimination is not an easy topic but it can have a real impact in your mixed faith marriage. Accepting the ...

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80. Emotional Bids

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In this episode I talk about why connection in a marriage sometimes decreases after a faith transition. This is often because ...

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79. My Mistakes

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I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my Mormon mixed faith marriage. When we can own our mistakes, we can learn ...

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78. The Long Game

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I consider a Mormon mixed faith marriage and parenting in a mixed faith marriage to be a long game. What I ...

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77. Conflict Tolerance and Conflict Intolerance

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A LDS mixed faith marriage means the two partners have a conflict of opinion. Conflict is present. Learning to tolerate conflict ...

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76. Advice for Believing Spouses

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In this episode I share my answers to 2 questions recently presented to me. They are: (1) What advice do you ...

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75. Criticism and Defensiveness Cycle

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I’ve seen my clients in a mixed faith marriage struggle with the criticism and defensiveness cycle. In order to break a ...

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74. Care, Care Taking and Control

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This week’s podcast discusses the difference between care and care taking. Often when we love someone deeply we want them to ...

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73. When Your Spouse Disapproves of You

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I have heard from my clients that they don’t know what to do when their spouse has a negative opinion of ...

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72. Marriage Evaluation

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A mixed faith marriage can cause some to question marriage as an institution. It can open up questions about why you ...

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71. The Loss of a Dream

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A LDS mixed faith marriage often means the loss of certain dreams. There may be many lost dreams: the dream to ...

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70. Is it better to be right or happy?

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I address a listener’s question about wanting to talk about certain issues in her marriage and wondering if she is wanting ...

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68. Trying New Things

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A faith transition can prompt one to want to try new things- coffee, alcohol, tank tops, etc. In this episode I ...

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67. Chris Rich Interview (Second time around)

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Chris Rich is a fellow life coach and a good friend. In this podcast we talk frankly of our stories and ...

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66. Uncertainty

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If you have experienced a faith transition/crisis you have probably faced uncertainty. Here I talk about one way to frame uncertainty ...

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66. New Years Resolutions (for any time of the year)

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In this episode I give four tips to help you actually make meaningful changes to your mixed faith marriage this coming ...

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65. Simple Tools

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I love having tools to use in my mixed faith marriage. They help me show up with more confidence and capability. ...

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64. Interview with my Husband Part II

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I interview my husband again in this episode. Here we talk about tithing, fasting, getting kids ready for church, tattoos, piercing, ...

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63. Emotional Cupcakes

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Sometimes we indulge in emotional cupcakes in our mixed faith marriage. These are the little hits of dopamine we get when ...

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62. The Holidays

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Many wonder how to celebrate a religious holiday if you don’t believe in the same religion. In this podcast I teach ...

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61. Role v Relationship

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When a marriage is based in roles a faith transition can be very disruptive to the marriage. When a marriage is ...

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61. Managing Your Spouse’s Emotions

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When we are managing our spouse’s emotions it tends to be because we don’t want to deal with their emotional reactions ...

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60. The Angry Phase

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In this episode I explore the angry phase in a Mormon faith transition. You may be surprised to learn that it’s ...

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59. Defensiveness

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Defensiveness is poison for your marriage. Here I discuss how to defend yourself without being defensive. I use real examples from ...

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58. Secret To Getting Along When You Don’t Agree About Church Stuff

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The issues or sticky points in your marriage are often connected to deeper problems. In this podcast I give you a ...

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57. Listener Question- How to manage messages that create shame

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Here I answer a listener question who is concerned about messaging their children receive that they consider shameful.

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56.Intimacy Part II (Sex)

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In this episode I address issues around sex my clients have brought to coaching calls. I offer an exercise to help ...

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55. Intimacy (Part I)

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Intimacy is not just sex, although sex can be part of intimacy. Here I explore the concept of intimacy and how ...

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54. My Spouse Doesn’t Want Me To Teach Things I Want to Teach to the Kids

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I have had clients stop teaching their kids and stop parenting in the way they want because they are afraid of ...

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53. Parent, Roommate and Girlfriend

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We often default to roles in our relationships. Here I talk about three common roles: parent, roommate and girlfriend (or boyfriend) ...

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52. What if the Mixed Faith Marriage is Not the Problem?

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In the episode I share some common but unhelpful approaches to a mixed faith marriage and then offer a radical approach ...

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51. Conflict Resolution

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Conflict is part of any relationship. Here I give some concrete ideas on how to develop your conflict resolution skills and ...

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50. Essential Elements of Communication

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Here I break down four skills you need to be a good communicator. Communication is vital in any relationship and it ...

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49. Complaining

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Complaining can erode away at your relationship. Here I talk about how to recognize if complaining is an issue in your ...

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48. Boundaries Part II

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Here I revisit boundaries. This is a deep dive into the different types of boundaries and how to know what is ...

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47. Enmeshment

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Enmeshment, differentiation, individuation, boundaries and codependency have been a part of my Mormon mixed faith marriage. They may be part of ...

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46. Talk with my Husband

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Daniel and I sit down and talk frankly about our mixed faith marriage as we mark 5 years into my faith ...

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45. Interview with my 15 year old daughter

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Listen to 15 yo Sage talk about her experience as a child in a mixed faith marriage. Sage was age 10/11 ...

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44. Codependency

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Codependency shows up a lot in a Mormon mixed faith marriage. I used to think it didn’t apply to me because ...

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43. Anniversary – 4 Years of a Mixed Faith Marriage

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It’s been four years since I stepped away from attending church. Here I share one HUGE lesson that helped me and ...

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42. 20/80 Rule

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Here I teach the 20/80 rule. 20% of your time and budget should go to the fun and flashy things that ...

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41. 5 Go To Phrases for Better Communication

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It can be super helpful to have some go to phrases in your back pocket to help with communication in your ...

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40. Interview with Beth Hinze

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Beth is a fellow life coach who had a faith transition, mixed faith marriage and a divorce. Here we hear her ...

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39. Why a faith transition impacts your marriage

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Here I explore some of the messaging in the church that may be impacting your mixed faith marriage in negative ways.

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38. Parenting – Do the kids stay home or go to church?

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Here I explore the question whether to allow the kids to stay home or go to church. Often this simple question ...

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37. Direct Communication

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Direct communication is one if the best ways to improve your communication and decrease resentment. Here I give you some ideas ...

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36. Divorce

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I was taught divorce is not an option and believed that for many years. Here I discuss the pros and cons ...

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35. Four Horseman: Contempt, Criticism, Defensiveness and Stonewalling

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Marriage researcher John Gottman teaches about the four horsemen that herald a divorce. Here I share how I leaned to decrease ...

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34. Falling Into and Out of Love

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Here I give you a three step process on how to fall in love again after a faith transition.

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33. Interview with Chris Rich

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Here I talk to a colleague of mine – Chris Rich. We are both life coaches and both in a Mormon ...

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31. Emotional Adulthood and Emotional Childhood

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Here I offer more detail around the concepts of emotional adulthood and emotional childhood. When you can step into emotional adulthood ...

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30. Relationship Goals

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In this episode I teach you something from my group coaching program- Loving Your Mixed Faith Marriage. Here I walk you ...

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29. Commitment

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Often people are interested in improving their marriage and interested in developing communication skills. However, commitment is often necessary to make ...

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28. Faith and Marriage

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Here I talk with my sister about faith and marriage. She and her husband left the church and have a very ...

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27. Partnership

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In this episode I talk about the partnership model versus petitioner model. I provide a definition of partnership and compare and ...

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26. How to Support Your Spouse

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In this episode I talk about some common obstacles that prevent you from supporting your spouse from love and in a ...

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25. Love

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Love feels so good. Sometimes we limit or put conditions on feeling amazing. Here I talk about conditional and unconditional love ...

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24. What Do You Believe About Mixed Faith Marriages?

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Here I ask a series of questions to explore what you believe about your mixed faith marriage. Your brain is a ...

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23. Selfish

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Selfishness is often at the root of many marriage problems. Here I challenge a common definition of selfish and suggest an ...

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22. Grief Cycle

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A faith transition and a mixed faith marriage may cause you to feel grief and loss. Maybe you have experienced the ...

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21. Boundaries (Part I)

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Boundaries can be an important part of a mixed faith marriage and participating in a mixed faith extended family. Here I ...

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20. Fear

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In this short but important episode I talk about fear. Fear can present as a series of questions with very scary ...

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19. Being on the Same Page

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I hear a lot that it is important to be on the same page in a marriage, especially in parenting. Here ...

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18. Passive Agressive

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Acting in a passive aggressive way is unfortunately common in a mixed faith marriage. Here I tell you about common ways ...

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17. Phases of a Mixed Faith Marriage

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There are often several phases that are part of a mixed faith marriage. Here I talk about the – Ignore it ...

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16. 10 Signs You Need Help Navigating Your Mixed Faith Marriage

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Here I address 10 things that indicate you need help in your marriage. Often we put off getting help. An investment ...

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15. Foregiveness

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Here I talk about how to deal with those painful things our spouse’s sometimes dish out to us in a mixed ...

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14. What Others’ Think

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Many clients come to me with a deep concern around what others will think about their faith transition or their spouse’s ...

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13. Baptism (Baby Blessing, Ordination, Endowment, etc.)

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If you are facing a baby blessing, baptism, ordination or other event you may be anxious or concerned about how to ...

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12 – Making Decisions

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Making decisions in a mixed faith marriage can be painful- but it does not have to be. If you want to ...

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11. Difficult Conversations

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This is part 2 of a 3 part series on communication. Here I share a tool that will help you succeed ...

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10. Talking About A Faith Transition With Your Spouse

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There are a few things to consider when you talk to your spouse about your or their faith transition. This podcast ...

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9. Guilt and Shame

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Guilt and shame almost invariably show up in a mixed faith marriage whether you are the active believing spouse or the ...

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8. The Truth About Emotions

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When faced with emotions in your mixed faith marriage there are a few ways you can respond. My recommendation is to ...

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7. People Pleasing

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People pleasing is common in Mormon mixed faith marriages. It is one of the biggest blocks to emotional intimacy and causes ...

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6. When a Relationship Gets Challenging

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We often default to certain roles when things get challenging in our mixed faith marriage. These roles may be undermining your ...

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5. Stress

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If you believe a mixed faith marriage is hard and not ideal, you will most like experience a marriage that is ...

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4. Manuals

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We often have a set of rules on how we think our spouse should act, speak, dress, think, believe, and show ...

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3. Art Of Being An Adult

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If it feels like things are just happening to you in your mixed faith marriage it may be time to implement ...

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2. Emotions Matter

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If you find your attempts to talk with your spouse about faith and religion are a train wreck, it may be ...

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1. Trying to Change Your Spouse

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Do you wish your spouse would change (go to church/not go to church, read this/don’t read this, believe something/don’t believe something) ...

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Parenting After a Faith Transition

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I talk to my clients a lot about their kids. I am a marriage/relationship coach, but kids are often intertwined.  Parenting ...

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No Such Thing as a Perfect Marriage

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My husband is like my favorite person in the whole world – I mean that is why I married him. He ...

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Anger

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If you are in a mormon mixed faith marriage you have probably experienced anger (as it is part of the grief ...

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Parenting and Communication

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I have seen with my clients that parenting becomes  a parenting vacuum when they think there is no common ground.  They ...

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Mess Ups

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“Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long ...

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Parenting in Your Mixed Faith Marriage

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I talk to my clients a lot about their kids. I am a marriage coach, but kids are often the result ...

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Tug of War Over the Kids

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In my own home and with my clients) a sort of tug of war to win the hearts and minds of ...

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When Your Spouse is Disappointed

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I used to be uncomfortable with my spouse’s disappointment or anger or sadness.  I used to think things like: -I can’t ...

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3 Tips for a Mixed Faith Marriage (Mormon or NOT)

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I recently talked to a protestant (never mormon) friend and she was telling me about her daughter who was dating a ...

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How to STOP Fighting – Video

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5 Common Questions

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To Resign or Not Resign

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Sometimes when a spouse steps away from the church this can take many forms. There is no one way. Here a ...

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Parent’s Worst Fear

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The worst fear of many parents is that their kids leave the church. It is sometimes the case in a mixed ...

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Home Study Course

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Maybe you have been in a mixed faith marriage for a while, maybe it is brand new territory, in either case ...

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Fear Based Decisions

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I am so afraid so often. I am afraid of my husband being done with me and my faith transition. I ...

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How to deal with your spouse teaching or talking about things that you do not agree with?

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This usually comes up in the context of teaching about gospel topic such as the law of chastity, modesty, priesthood, leadership, ...

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Afraid of what others will think?

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My ancestors are pioneers. We are talking about covered wagons traveling from Far West to Salt Lake City. My extended family ...

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What to do if your marriage has been neglected?

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There was a time when we were so busy strengthening our family we forget to strengthen our marriage. The two are ...

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How to influence you spouse  (It’s not what  you think)

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In your marriages you may find you want to be able to influence your spouse. To be a someone they listen ...

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Connection after Disconnection

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Here is what happened. We were disconnected all week. Something was off. I was pretty sure he hated me and I ...

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Hierarchy v Partnership

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Many marriages are built on a hierarchical model. It works for some people to a certain extent. It provides clear roles ...

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Communication Tip

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I want to give you a little tip on communication. One way to improve communication is to remove the obstacles to ...

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It Takes Practice

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The other day a YW leader came by to drop something off my my kids (as all YW leaders will do). ...

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Mormon? Unitarian? Agnostic? Atheist? 

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A faith transition can mean many things for your marriage. Sometimes the transitioning  spouse will keep attending church but just not ...

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Selfish

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I think one of the single biggest fears we bring into our mixed faith marriage is that we are being SELFISH. ...

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Change and Progression

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Are you someone who freezes when faced with change in your marriage. Often the response to change is  – this can’t ...

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Marriage Remodel

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 We are in the middle of a huge and extensive remodel project of our house. We have a mid century modern ...

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Painful Conversations

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 Do you keep on having the same painful conversations over and over about tithing or church history or cultural norms versus ...

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CHANGE: A faith transition means change

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Change can be disorienting for both spouses. Here I want to talk about how to handle change whether you are the ...

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Blame and Responsibility 

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It is not uncommon you and me to blame our partners for our emotions and and not take responsibility for them. ...

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This is so hard!

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I don’t even know how many times I have told myself this about my mixed faith marriage. It is so hard ...

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Not an ideal marriage 

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Do you believe that a mixed faith marriage is not an ideal marriage? If you do, you are not alone. I ...

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How to communicate without fighting

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Does it seem like every time you talk about church it ends up in a fight? I had a client come ...

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Walking on Eggshells

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I have heard from my clients that if feels like they are walking on eggshells when it comes to talking about ...

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How to stay together when you don’t go to church together

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I was raised being taught that it is better to marry someone in your religion. It is better to go to ...

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COST of Doing Nothing

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For so many of us – Nothing is more important than our family and the core of that family is our  ...

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Fear

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Fear This is such a powerful emotion. It arises a lot in my life and mostly about my future.  -Will this mixed faith ...

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Decision Making

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Two things are commonly agreed to challenge a marriage: mixed faith and remodeling. We are doing both. Decision making is paramount ...

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People Pleasing

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People don’t always associate people pleasing with a mixed faith marriage. People pleasing can run rampant in these types of marriages. ...

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Will this ever get better? 

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There was a point in my mixed faith marriage when I was sure that it was never going to get better. ...

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I am ruining everything. 

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I am ruining everything. This can be a common refrain for those who have It may prompt the following: I don’t ...

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I am right and they are wrong

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There is a problem that many people have that causes them to be miserable, especially in their marriage. They think they ...

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I loved you more when you were active

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A faith transition can change the balance in a marriage. It can “mess up” roles and expectations and schedules and traditions. ...

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Family Photos

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We just has our family photos taken. Four kids, two adults and one  dog. It was quite the event. I (who ...

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Hard Conversations

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This past week my husband and I both read the Elder Holland talk that was given to BYU faculty. He is ...

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Decision Making- Video

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Negotiation and Compromise- Video

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Tithing- Video

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Mirror Effect

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Our spouses play many important roles in our lives. They can be our best friend or biggest advocate, our most painful ...

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Emotion v Logic

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Many couples claim that one partner is logical and the other is emotional (and that this is a problem). Usually the ...

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Emotional Responsibility

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A good wife makes her husband happy I want to help my husband feel better. Happy wife, happy life. Those sound ...

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Love Feel Amazing (NOT Terrible)

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Love feel amazing. When we are feeing love we act lovingly.  Often we get loved mixed up with other emotions. We ...

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How Can I accept them? I don’t respect what they believe or think.

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Many clients come to me and ask, “How Can I accept them? I don’t respect what they believe or think. I ...

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Boundaries

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I have heard their is a need to establish boundaries in a Mormon mixed faith marriage. This may be true and ...

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How to Feel Better About Your Mixed Faith Marriage

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Our relationship we have with others is just the accumulation of thoughts we have about them. Our thoughts about what they ...

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Consequences

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You are probably aware of long and short term consequences. When you eat a cupcake in the short term you get ...

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Selfish – Video

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Us versus Them Mentality

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There is a way our brains process and categorize people and events in our lives that I call the  ‘us versus ...

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Courage

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If I could name one ESSENTIAL emotion to make a mixed faith marriage work I would name: Courage. It takes courage ...

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Baby Blessings, Baptism, Ordination, Temple Weddings

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What to do when your kids hit on of the many rites of passage in LDS culture? Do you let them ...

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Inner Work for Outer Success

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Most (okay, really all) the really effective work we do in our marriage is inner work. We think it is work ...

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Common Worries For Active Spouses Around Parenting 

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I am sure there are tons of worries out there. Here I will highlight two I have seen personally and professionally.  ...

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