68. Trying New Things

A faith transition can prompt one to want to try new things- coffee, alcohol, tank tops, etc. In this episode I ...

67. Chris Rich Interview (Second time around)

Chris Rich is a fellow life coach and a good friend. In this podcast we talk frankly of our stories and ...

66. Uncertainty

If you have experienced a faith transition/crisis you have probably faced uncertainty. Here I talk about one way to frame uncertainty ...

66. New Years Resolutions (for any time of the year)

In this episode I give four tips to help you actually make meaningful changes to your mixed faith marriage this coming ...

65. Simple Tools

I love having tools to use in my mixed faith marriage. They help me show up with more confidence and capability. ...

64. Interview with my Husband Part II

I interview my husband again in this episode. Here we talk about tithing, fasting, getting kids ready for church, tattoos, piercing, ...

63. Emotional Cupcakes

Sometimes we indulge in emotional cupcakes in our mixed faith marriage. These are the little hits of dopamine we get when ...

62. The Holidays

Many wonder how to celebrate a religious holiday if you don’t believe in the same religion. In this podcast I teach ...

61. Role v Relationship

When a marriage is based in roles a faith transition can be very disruptive to the marriage. When a marriage is ...

61. Managing Your Spouse’s Emotions

When we are managing our spouse’s emotions it tends to be because we don’t want to deal with their emotional reactions ...

60. The Angry Phase

In this episode I explore the angry phase in a Mormon faith transition. You may be surprised to learn that it’s ...

59. Defensiveness

Defensiveness is poison for your marriage. Here I discuss how to defend yourself without being defensive. I use real examples from ...

58. Secret To Getting Along When You Don’t Agree About Church Stuff

The issues or sticky points in your marriage are often connected to deeper problems. In this podcast I give you a ...

57. Listener Question- How to manage messages that create shame

Here I answer a listener question who is concerned about messaging their children receive that they consider shameful.

56.Intimacy Part II (Sex)

In this episode I address issues around sex my clients have brought to coaching calls. I offer an exercise to help ...

55. Intimacy (Part I)

Intimacy is not just sex, although sex can be part of intimacy. Here I explore the concept of intimacy and how ...

54. My Spouse Doesn’t Want Me To Teach Things I Want to Teach to the Kids

I have had clients stop teaching their kids and stop parenting in the way they want because they are afraid of ...

53. Parent, Roommate and Girlfriend

We often default to roles in our relationships. Here I talk about three common roles: parent, roommate and girlfriend (or boyfriend) ...

52. What if the Mixed Faith Marriage is Not the Problem?

In the episode I share some common but unhelpful approaches to a mixed faith marriage and then offer a radical approach ...

51. Conflict Resolution

Conflict is part of any relationship. Here I give some concrete ideas on how to develop your conflict resolution skills and ...

50. Essential Elements of Communication

Here I break down four skills you need to be a good communicator. Communication is vital in any relationship and it ...

49. Complaining

Complaining can erode away at your relationship. Here I talk about how to recognize if complaining is an issue in your ...

48. Boundaries Part II

Here I revisit boundaries. This is a deep dive into the different types of boundaries and how to know what is ...

47. Enmeshment

Enmeshment, differentiation, individuation, boundaries and codependency have been a part of my Mormon mixed faith marriage. They may be part of ...

46. Talk with my Husband

Daniel and I sit down and talk frankly about our mixed faith marriage as we mark 5 years into my faith ...

45. Interview with my 15 year old daughter

Listen to 15 yo Sage talk about her experience as a child in a mixed faith marriage. Sage was age 10/11 ...

44. Codependency

Codependency shows up a lot in a Mormon mixed faith marriage. I used to think it didn’t apply to me because ...

43. Anniversary – 4 Years of a Mixed Faith Marriage

It’s been four years since I stepped away from attending church. Here I share one HUGE lesson that helped me and ...

42. 20/80 Rule

Here I teach the 20/80 rule. 20% of your time and budget should go to the fun and flashy things that ...

41. 5 Go To Phrases for Better Communication

It can be super helpful to have some go to phrases in your back pocket to help with communication in your ...

40. Interview with Beth Hinze

Beth is a fellow life coach who had a faith transition, mixed faith marriage and a divorce. Here we hear her ...

39. Why a faith transition impacts your marriage

Here I explore some of the messaging in the church that may be impacting your mixed faith marriage in negative ways.

38. Parenting – Do the kids stay home or go to church?

Here I explore the question whether to allow the kids to stay home or go to church. Often this simple question ...

37. Direct Communication

Direct communication is one if the best ways to improve your communication and decrease resentment. Here I give you some ideas ...

36. Divorce

I was taught divorce is not an option and believed that for many years. Here I discuss the pros and cons ...

35. Four Horseman: Contempt, Criticism, Defensiveness and Stonewalling

Marriage researcher John Gottman teaches about the four horsemen that herald a divorce. Here I share how I leaned to decrease ...

34. Falling Into and Out of Love

Here I give you a three step process on how to fall in love again after a faith transition.

33. Interview with Chris Rich

Here I talk to a colleague of mine – Chris Rich. We are both life coaches and both in a Mormon ...

31. Emotional Adulthood and Emotional Childhood

Here I offer more detail around the concepts of emotional adulthood and emotional childhood. When you can step into emotional adulthood ...

30. Relationship Goals

In this episode I teach you something from my group coaching program- Loving Your Mixed Faith Marriage. Here I walk you ...

29. Commitment

Often people are interested in improving their marriage and interested in developing communication skills. However, commitment is often necessary to make ...

28. Faith and Marriage

Here I talk with my sister about faith and marriage. She and her husband left the church and have a very ...

27. Partnership

In this episode I talk about the partnership model versus petitioner model. I provide a definition of partnership and compare and ...

26. How to Support Your Spouse

In this episode I talk about some common obstacles that prevent you from supporting your spouse from love and in a ...

25. Love

Love feels so good. Sometimes we limit or put conditions on feeling amazing. Here I talk about conditional and unconditional love ...

24. What Do You Believe About Mixed Faith Marriages?

Here I ask a series of questions to explore what you believe about your mixed faith marriage. Your brain is a ...

23. Selfish

Selfishness is often at the root of many marriage problems. Here I challenge a common definition of selfish and suggest an ...

22. Grief Cycle

A faith transition and a mixed faith marriage may cause you to feel grief and loss. Maybe you have experienced the ...

21. Boundaries (Part I)

Boundaries can be an important part of a mixed faith marriage and participating in a mixed faith extended family. Here I ...

20. Fear

In this short but important episode I talk about fear. Fear can present as a series of questions with very scary ...

19. Being on the Same Page

I hear a lot that it is important to be on the same page in a marriage, especially in parenting. Here ...

18. Passive Agressive

Acting in a passive aggressive way is unfortunately common in a mixed faith marriage. Here I tell you about common ways ...

17. Phases of a Mixed Faith Marriage

There are often several phases that are part of a mixed faith marriage. Here I talk about the – Ignore it ...

16. 10 Signs You Need Help Navigating Your Mixed Faith Marriage

Here I address 10 things that indicate you need help in your marriage. Often we put off getting help. An investment ...

15. Foregiveness

Here I talk about how to deal with those painful things our spouse’s sometimes dish out to us in a mixed ...

14. What Others’ Think

Many clients come to me with a deep concern around what others will think about their faith transition or their spouse’s ...

13. Baptism (Baby Blessing, Ordination, Endowment, etc.)

If you are facing a baby blessing, baptism, ordination or other event you may be anxious or concerned about how to ...

12 – Making Decisions

Making decisions in a mixed faith marriage can be painful- but it does not have to be. If you want to ...

11. Difficult Conversations

This is part 2 of a 3 part series on communication. Here I share a tool that will help you succeed ...

10. Talking About A Faith Transition With Your Spouse

There are a few things to consider when you talk to your spouse about your or their faith transition. This podcast ...

9. Guilt and Shame

Guilt and shame almost invariably show up in a mixed faith marriage whether you are the active believing spouse or the ...

8. The Truth About Emotions

When faced with emotions in your mixed faith marriage there are a few ways you can respond. My recommendation is to ...

7. People Pleasing

People pleasing is common in Mormon mixed faith marriages. It is one of the biggest blocks to emotional intimacy and causes ...

6. When a Relationship Gets Challenging

We often default to certain roles when things get challenging in our mixed faith marriage. These roles may be undermining your ...

5. Stress

If you believe a mixed faith marriage is hard and not ideal, you will most like experience a marriage that is ...

4. Manuals

We often have a set of rules on how we think our spouse should act, speak, dress, think, believe, and show ...

3. Art Of Being An Adult

If it feels like things are just happening to you in your mixed faith marriage it may be time to implement ...

2. Emotions Matter

If you find your attempts to talk with your spouse about faith and religion are a train wreck, it may be ...

1. Trying to Change Your Spouse

Do you wish your spouse would change (go to church/not go to church, read this/don’t read this, believe something/don’t believe something) ...

Parenting After a Faith Transition

I talk to my clients a lot about their kids. I am a marriage/relationship coach, but kids are often intertwined.  Parenting ...

No Such Thing as a Perfect Marriage

My husband is like my favorite person in the whole world – I mean that is why I married him. He ...

Anger

If you are in a mormon mixed faith marriage you have probably experienced anger (as it is part of the grief ...

Parenting and Communication

I have seen with my clients that parenting becomes  a parenting vacuum when they think there is no common ground.  They ...

Mess Ups

“Any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long ...

Parenting in Your Mixed Faith Marriage

I talk to my clients a lot about their kids. I am a marriage coach, but kids are often the result ...

Tug of War Over the Kids

In my own home and with my clients) a sort of tug of war to win the hearts and minds of ...

When Your Spouse is Disappointed

I used to be uncomfortable with my spouse’s disappointment or anger or sadness.  I used to think things like: -I can’t ...

3 Tips for a Mixed Faith Marriage (Mormon or NOT)

I recently talked to a protestant (never mormon) friend and she was telling me about her daughter who was dating a ...

How to STOP Fighting – Video

5 Common Questions

To Resign or Not Resign

Sometimes when a spouse steps away from the church this can take many forms. There is no one way. Here a ...

Parent’s Worst Fear

The worst fear of many parents is that their kids leave the church. It is sometimes the case in a mixed ...

Home Study Course

Maybe you have been in a mixed faith marriage for a while, maybe it is brand new territory, in either case ...

Fear Based Decisions

I am so afraid so often. I am afraid of my husband being done with me and my faith transition. I ...

How to deal with your spouse teaching or talking about things that you do not agree with?

This usually comes up in the context of teaching about gospel topic such as the law of chastity, modesty, priesthood, leadership, ...

Afraid of what others will think?

My ancestors are pioneers. We are talking about covered wagons traveling from Far West to Salt Lake City. My extended family ...

What to do if your marriage has been neglected?

There was a time when we were so busy strengthening our family we forget to strengthen our marriage. The two are ...

How to influence you spouse  (It’s not what  you think)

In your marriages you may find you want to be able to influence your spouse. To be a someone they listen ...

Connection after Disconnection

Here is what happened. We were disconnected all week. Something was off. I was pretty sure he hated me and I ...

Hierarchy v Partnership

Many marriages are built on a hierarchical model. It works for some people to a certain extent. It provides clear roles ...

Communication Tip

I want to give you a little tip on communication. One way to improve communication is to remove the obstacles to ...

It Takes Practice

The other day a YW leader came by to drop something off my my kids (as all YW leaders will do). ...

Mormon? Unitarian? Agnostic? Atheist? 

A faith transition can mean many things for your marriage. Sometimes the transitioning  spouse will keep attending church but just not ...

Selfish

I think one of the single biggest fears we bring into our mixed faith marriage is that we are being SELFISH. ...

Change and Progression

Are you someone who freezes when faced with change in your marriage. Often the response to change is  – this can’t ...

Marriage Remodel

 We are in the middle of a huge and extensive remodel project of our house. We have a mid century modern ...

Painful Conversations

 Do you keep on having the same painful conversations over and over about tithing or church history or cultural norms versus ...

CHANGE: A faith transition means change

Change can be disorienting for both spouses. Here I want to talk about how to handle change whether you are the ...

Blame and Responsibility 

It is not uncommon you and me to blame our partners for our emotions and and not take responsibility for them. ...

This is so hard!

I don’t even know how many times I have told myself this about my mixed faith marriage. It is so hard ...

Not an ideal marriage 

Do you believe that a mixed faith marriage is not an ideal marriage? If you do, you are not alone. I ...

How to communicate without fighting

Does it seem like every time you talk about church it ends up in a fight? I had a client come ...

Walking on Eggshells

I have heard from my clients that if feels like they are walking on eggshells when it comes to talking about ...

How to stay together when you don’t go to church together

I was raised being taught that it is better to marry someone in your religion. It is better to go to ...

COST of Doing Nothing

For so many of us – Nothing is more important than our family and the core of that family is our  ...

Fear

Fear This is such a powerful emotion. It arises a lot in my life and mostly about my future.  -Will this mixed faith ...

Decision Making

Two things are commonly agreed to challenge a marriage: mixed faith and remodeling. We are doing both. Decision making is paramount ...

People Pleasing

People don’t always associate people pleasing with a mixed faith marriage. People pleasing can run rampant in these types of marriages. ...

Will this ever get better? 

There was a point in my mixed faith marriage when I was sure that it was never going to get better. ...

I am ruining everything. 

I am ruining everything. This can be a common refrain for those who have It may prompt the following: I don’t ...

I am right and they are wrong

There is a problem that many people have that causes them to be miserable, especially in their marriage. They think they ...

I loved you more when you were active

A faith transition can change the balance in a marriage. It can “mess up” roles and expectations and schedules and traditions. ...

Family Photos

We just has our family photos taken. Four kids, two adults and one  dog. It was quite the event. I (who ...

Hard Conversations

This past week my husband and I both read the Elder Holland talk that was given to BYU faculty. He is ...

What is it like to have a Life Coach Help your Mixed Faith Marriage – video

Decision Making- Video

Negotiation and Compromise- Video

Tithing- Video

Mirror Effect

Our spouses play many important roles in our lives. They can be our best friend or biggest advocate, our most painful ...

Emotion v Logic

Many couples claim that one partner is logical and the other is emotional (and that this is a problem). Usually the ...

Emotional Responsibility

A good wife makes her husband happy I want to help my husband feel better. Happy wife, happy life. Those sound ...

Love Feel Amazing (NOT Terrible)

Love feel amazing. When we are feeing love we act lovingly.  Often we get loved mixed up with other emotions. We ...

How Can I accept them? I don’t respect what they believe or think.

Many clients come to me and ask, “How Can I accept them? I don’t respect what they believe or think. I ...

Boundaries

I have heard their is a need to establish boundaries in a Mormon mixed faith marriage. This may be true and ...

How to Feel Better About Your Mixed Faith Marriage

Our relationship we have with others is just the accumulation of thoughts we have about them. Our thoughts about what they ...

Consequences

You are probably aware of long and short term consequences. When you eat a cupcake in the short term you get ...

Selfish – Video

Progression, Change & Perfectionism – Video

Us versus Them Mentality

There is a way our brains process and categorize people and events in our lives that I call the  ‘us versus ...

Courage

If I could name one ESSENTIAL emotion to make a mixed faith marriage work I would name: Courage. It takes courage ...

Baby Blessings, Baptism, Ordination, Temple Weddings

What to do when your kids hit on of the many rites of passage in LDS culture? Do you let them ...

Inner Work for Outer Success

Most (okay, really all) the really effective work we do in our marriage is inner work. We think it is work ...

Common Worries For Active Spouses Around Parenting 

I am sure there are tons of worries out there. Here I will highlight two I have seen personally and professionally.  ...

Parenting Series # 4- Worry

I have covered so far: #1- basic parenting resources – fully vetted #2- How to deal with a spouse teaching things ...

Unconditional Love  and Respect

My husband and I have an ongoing discussion about unconditional love and respect. Suffice it to say we would like more ...

I can’t believe this is happening to me (and other unhelpful thoughts)

Have you found yourself thinking these thoughts about your faith transition or your spouse’s faith transition (and marriage transition)? I can’t ...

It Only Takes ONE

I can’t improve my marriage because my spouse is not interesting in seeking help. I hear this a lot. Here is ...

Divorce in NOT an option

This used to be how my husband and I approached our marriage. We were taught this and it sounded good, right? ...

It takes SKILLS to Make Mixed Faith Marriage Work

Adult Development and your Mixed Faith Marriage- VIDEO

5 Things to Say to Your Believing Spouse- VIDEO

Approval, Sacrifice and Inequality- VIDEO

How to Stop Fighting (VIDEO)

Parenting Series #3: What To Do With The Kids Post COVID

Church has been a pretty low key affair for the past 13 months in our house. We still do not have ...

Parenting Series #1: Parenting in a Mixed Faith Marriage – Some Basic Resources

We have had a request for a list of resources to help teach kids values and character from a more secular ...

Parenting Series #2: How to Deal With Your Spouse Teaching Things That You Do Not Agree With

In my work as a coach for Mormons in mixed faith marriages I am doing a multi part series on teaching ...

Mixed Faith Marriage and Alcohol 

There are many charged emotions and strong reactions with alcohol. People feel very strongly about substances like this. That is OK,  ...

Marriage Challenges

What is the impact of feeling stuck and disempowered in your mixed faith marriage? Do you think of the challenges in ...

Intimacy and Validation

We sometimes get intimacy confused with something else. That something else is called many things. Maybe you know it as: validation, ...

Marriage Roles and Intimacy

Marriages often become a way for us to live out prescribed roles. It  can be an easy and simple way of ...