As humans we engage in rituals and our relationships are full of rituals.

The rituals may be simple like kissing goodbye or they may be more elaborate like a wedding.

Rituals are often interwoven with religion and as such they  can be problematic for mixed-faith couples.

I teach my clients a simple exercise I want to share here. It is a way to use rituals to strengthen your relationship instead of seeing them as a reminder of where you have differences.

1.Make a list of the rituals you already have as a couple.

2. Place a check next to the ones that nurture your relationship. (Some rituals are more like bad habits.)

3. Consider replacing the ones that do not nurture the relationship.

Example: FHE is a ritual. We religiously held FHE for our whole marriage. As the faith transition deepened and developed it became a hotbed of contention. I didn’t like what he was teaching, he didn’t like what I was teaching. We didn’t like the “participation” the other showed in our lessons.

This was a ritual that needed to be evaluated and reinvented. We discussed how we both felt teaching our children was important and we discussed the things we both felt strongly about teaching them. We decided to reinvent this as “coaching night” and we used the time to teach what we called life skills. We talk about emotional skills , social skills, financial skills, mental health, peer pressure, goal setting, etc.

We reinvented this ritual to be supportive to both of us and our mutual parenting goals.

Is it time for an evaluation of your rituals? This is something I teach my clients.

Are you scared to implement change? This is something I help my clients overcome.

Are you needing help navigating your mixed faith marriage? I am here to help.

I offer free calls were we can talk about where you are in your marriage and what kind of marriage you really want. There is a way to get you there. 

CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE A FREE CALL WITH BROOKE

Talk to you soon,

Brooke Booth, JD
Certified Life Coach
mormoncouples.com
mormoncouples.com@gmail.com

Sometimes when things get intense in my mixed faith marriage it is helpful to remember what it is I can control and what it is I cannot control.

I cannot control what he thinks about me or my choices. I cannot control how he feel about me. I cannot control what he says or does.

I really, really really want to control what he thinks about me. I want him to think I am good, kind, generous and a wonderful partner.

When I want him to think this about me I try to convince him to like me.

When I start convincing and controlling it doesn’t actually help my relationship. It makes me act a little crazy.

Often we don’t even see where were are “controlling” . If you find yourself thinking the following, there is a pretty good chance you are trying to control what you cannot:

If he would just…

I wish that he wouldn’t….

Why can’t she…

She just can’t seem to…

What I can control:

I can control me. I can control the meaning I give to words and actions of others. I can control the words that I speak. I can control my own actions. I can control how I choose to show up and what I chose to think and feel or at least what I choose to continue to think and feel.

This helps me know where to focus my attention and energy. When I get all caught up about the things I cannot control I feel stuck and disempowered. When I can keep my focus on what I can control I feel hopeful and wiling to keep trying.

Where is your focus in your mixed faith marriage?

We often need help re-training our brain to focus on what we can and let go of trying to control what we cannot. It sounds simple, but we usually need help. As a life coach I teach my clients how to do this. I help them create new neural pathways that create empowerment and not control.

If you are ready to learn how to do this, let’s talk.

CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE A FREE CALL WITH BROOKE

Talk to you soon,

Brooke Booth, JD
Certified Life Coach
mormoncouples.com
mormoncouples.com@gmail.com

When my family is at a church event and I choose to stay home I sometimes I have company for these times. GUILT. It likes to creep in and sit by me and whisper things in my ears like, “You are a bad wife” and a bad mom.” “You should be supporting your family even if it makes you miserable.” “They are more important than you and your feelings.”

Do you know GUILT? Not a pleasant fellow.

Sometimes I believe guilt and feel bad. Sometimes, I let GUILT know that I can be a good mom AND take some time off. That I can and am supportive in 100 other ways. I tell GUILT that I can take care of me, and that by taking care of me I will be a happier mom and happier wife. I tell GUILT that people actually do prefer living with happy people instead of miserable people.

GUILT will leave at this point. But I know it may come back, but that is ok. I understand that GUILT visits many people, it is just part of the human experience. I do not need to invite it in for long, but I acknowledge that it comes and goes just like any other emotion.

Do you know GUILT? Life coaching is a great tool to use to recognizes and processing the many emotions that come up in a mixed faith marriage. Recognizing and processing our emotions is critical to accepting life and finding peace. Coaching is a powerful tool to lean and process emotions. If this is a skill you need to further develop, let’s talk. Email me and we can set up a free call to talk about coaching and how to use it to make your mixed faith marriage better than you dreamed possible.

Talk to you soon,

Brooke Booth
Life Coach
mormoncouples.com
mormoncouples.com@gmail.com